It has been a while since I (Bekah) have written an update. The truth is that I wrestle with how to write these. I go between two opposing desires: I want to be honest about where we're at, but I also want to protect you (whoever you are reading this) from the heaviness of what we're walking through. I want you to come to our post and be encouraged and hopeful. I want to have positive updates to give you. But that's just not always the hand we're dealt. And really, am I protecting anyone by hiding our burdens when I know that we are called to bear one another's burdens? Our community has faithfully done for us over and over again in a thousand different ways over the last few years.
So here is our honest update:
Clay's last post was a farewell to a 2025 we weren't sad to see go. As much as I hate to say it, the first two months of 2026 have not proven to be any better. We started the year with a trip to NJ with Clay's family. Our kids had an absolute blast with their cousins and a time to explore a part of the country they hadn't been before, but it was a very challenging trip for Clay.
At the end of January, Clay had a scan that unfortunately showed that his kidney tumor had grown and spread to a nearby lymph node. This is the first time since we learned of the cancer that he has had growth or spread to any organs (though it has been suspected in the past), so that of course was worrisome and discouraging. It also meant that once again, we stopped a current treatment plan and had to begin the process of deciding on a new one and getting it approved. We finally have both medications approved and are waiting to receive the second one. He will now be on two pills per day instead of going in for infusions every other week.
In the midst of that, his knee pain has increased significantly even with regular PT and pain meds, making walking difficult and painful, to say the least. And yet, he's somehow made it to Eli and Lydia's upward games on Saturday mornings and to church most Sundays. I have never been so proud of anyone as I am of my husband and how he perseveres through suffering.
This month I have worked from home more often than not so I can be available to Clay, but also, I'm just finding that normal conversations are hard. And questions about how I or Clay are doing are even harder.
But for all the hard that this year has brought, it has also brought the sweetest gift we could ever receive as parents. Earlier this month Clay and I were able to walk through some questions that our oldest had about God and in light of those conversations, he repented and believed in Jesus! Clay is getting to baptize him this Sunday. This is our second child that Clay will be able to baptize! What grace the Lord gives!
I would not wish this trial on anyone. And yet, in the midst of it, my confidence in who God is has become more real and more certain than ever. I find the Lord being my shield and the Holy Spirit bringing scripture to mind at all times of the day. I find myself praying to God the things He's bringing to mind and asking Him to do it - for my joy in Him to be my strength, to take this burden that sometimes feels as though it may crush me and instead give me his rest, to comfort me in the waste places, to remind me that I can rejoice and be content in all circumstances. And I have found Him faithful.
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."
Isaiah 43:1-3a
Prayer Requests:
- New medication to be effective and that the cancer would go away
- Relief from pain
- For the baptism Sunday - for nothing to prohibit Clay from being able to do it
- Wisdom for us as we parent the kids through this season. Nothing about this is easy, and we long to do it well.
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