We remain inconsistent with our updates. Consistently inconsistent, some might say. The last week of the year seems like a reasonable time to force myself to sit down and type some gibberish out. It's not a "year-in-review" kind of post, I don't think. Probably more of one last update before 2025 mercifully ends.
There haven't been major changes since the last update. My right eye is still totally blurry but it's not painful, at least. I got a steroid shot in the eye last month to hopefully keep the pressure in my eye up long enough to have cataract surgery sometime next Spring. The shot itself wasn't as bad as I feared. However, by the time we made it from the 8th floor to the 1st floor, I felt like I might pass out from the pain. And I'd like to think my pain tolerance has always been fairly high and has increased quite a bit over the past 18-ish months. The pressure was incredibly intense for a couple hours but has been fine since then. Praying for the return of eye sight next year. I didn't realize how much my brain needed both eyes to have any depth perception. Maybe everyone else knew that but no one told me I wouldn't be able to catch a ball or put toothpaste on my toothbrush with only one eye. But we press on in spite of it.
I started a different immunotherapy infusion last month. I will get that every 2 weeks and I have had 3 rounds so far. Sometime around the start of that, my appetite disappeared. It probably happened before that but I was on an oral steroid that helped me eat for a bit before that. But I haven't been eating much for at least a month. Food sometimes sounds good right up until it's time to eat and then it all sounds disgusting when it is actually Go Time. To make it worse, my jaw hasn't felt great for a while either so chewing is painful. Knowing that it's going to hurt and not feeling hungry (occasionally feeling nauseous) makes it pretty difficult to consume enough every day. Surprisingly, I'm only down about 15 pounds so far but I wouldn't say I had 15 pounds to lose before all this started. I partially blame the weight loss on my poor sleep lately, too. I have no meat to cushion my bones at night so I get extra achy in the night and there's only so many ways you can rollover to relieve that. Not a great situation.
In spite of all that, I think we had a pretty good Christmas season. The kids had a blast, we made it to the Christmas Eve service, and I only ran out of patience once last week (I think - Bekah can correct that if my memory is wrong). I had to skip our last family gathering at the end of the week out of pure exhaustion but I made it through the rest of them! This season can be exhausting even when we are operating on a full tank. And I haven't experienced a full tank in quite some time. It was a great week, though, and I tried extra hard to make the most of every moment. Something that I probably should have been doing all along but I'm a slow learner.
We are off to the beaches of New Jersey with most of my family on January 1st for about a week. Travel is hard. Packing all my pills and medical things is hard. Being in a different environment is hard. It's a lot. But there's potential for it to be fun. Our kids have never flown before (Judson was about 5 months old the last time he was on a plane), so they are excited and will have a great time, no doubt. Praying I'm at least a little better than miserable the whole time.
That's about all the highlights I can think of for now.
Prayer Requests
- Maybe some of y'all can join in those prayers for the trip. As long as I don't make others miserable, it'll feel like a successful trip.
- Pray that this new treatment plan works even better than expected. My last brain scan was okay again. I think that's 3 in a row that were okay. My next body scan should be next month sometime. Praying it reveals improvement and no steps in the wrong direction.
- My insurance is changing yet again next year. It has been fine the last 3 times it has changed but it does add a new layer of anxiety. Pray that the anxiety doesn't dominate and that the transition is smooth enough.
That's all I've got for ya.
Ready, break!
