We also got the results back from his brain scan last week. Everything was stable, with no new spots or growth. This is two scans in a row! We were so thankful for this because I was very concerned that all of his eye problems was an indication that the cancer had spread, so this was a huge relief. However, his eye was still giving him a lot of problems.
We got back in Monday (10/6) to see his eye doctor at UAMS and they were very concerned with the seriousness of the uveitis in his right eye. The inflammation was significantly worse this time, and they believe it is a response from the immunotherapy he started in July. They told us they wanted to consult with the oncology team, and they would let us know the plan. Tuesday morning (10/7), Clay's oncology team called and told him that they need to admit him to the hospital for 3-5 days to monitor his eye and get it under control with treatment.
So once again, our family and friends stepped up at a moment's notice with a plan to help us with the kids. The bride of Christ truly never ceases to amaze me.
We are currently in the hospital, and it seems the plan is to administer IV steroids for three days and then taper off. Hopefully, we can also figure out what his options will be to treat his cancer since it seems as though his current course will no longer be an option. This realization is very discouraging, as we have lost track of how many different treatment options we've exhausted in the last 2 years.
So many of you are so faithful to pray and ask how to pray, but I realized this week that many of the people we see regularly, we've met in the last year and may not know what exactly Clay's situation is. So I thought it might be helpful to do a little recap:
Clay was diagnosed with a very rare form of stage 4 kidney cancer two years, 4 months, and 12 days ago. It is easy to remember the day because it was two days after he turned 35. He has "innumerable tumors" throughout his bones - neck, spine, ribs, hips, femurs. Because of this, he is in constant pain. We see multiple pain management doctors to try to manage it, but he still hurts every day. The cancer has also spread to his brain, where he has had over 20 spots treated. He has brain scans every 2 months and body scans every 3 months. From the beginning, we have known that kidney cancer is not an easily treatable disease. We know that unless our Sovereign Lord says, "Enough," Clay will have this cancer the rest of his life. But we also believe that nothing is impossible for God. So, we continue on, refusing to lose hope.
Sometimes it is difficult for me to recognize this life. Sometimes people ask me how I'm doing, and I genuinely don't know the answer. But what I do know is this: God is keeping my foot from slipping. I think in pictures a lot. And from the beginning of this diagnosis, a picture that comes to me often is that I'm walking on the edge of a cliff. It's steep up, and it's steep down. And it is terrifying, but there's nothing to do but keep walking. From the very first few days, my prayer journal is full of me begging the Lord the same thing that the psalmist often did, to "keep my foot from slipping." Because while it's terrifying to look up, and terrifying to look down, the most terrifying part is to look back and see those four little babies who are walking behind us through this. And it is one thing if my foot slips, but it is an entirely different thing to pull them down with me. The Lord has been so faithful to answer that prayer and so many others.
We were driving down I-40 this week, and Judson, who is almost 2.5 and never stops talking these days, noticed a giant cross. And he said, "Look mom-a cross! Who died there?" And I said, "Who did die there, Judson?" And he said, "Dod!" I said, "Yes, Jesus died on the cross. Do you know why?" And he thought for a minute and said, "Because I'm love him."
And it dawned on me in that moment that it doesn't matter if my life is nothing like I expected, the main thing hasn't changed. My job, my privilege, this side of eternity is to be a disciple who makes disciples. Starting in my home. And cancer doesn't change that and can't take that away from us. He keeps our feet from slipping.
Prayer requests:
-Clay's eye. It has been in an extreme amount of pain. Please pray that the steroids would work and his vision would be fully restored.
-Treatment plan - please pray for his oncology team as they decide on the next course of treatment for his cancer
-Our kids - this will be twice in a short amount of time that they will be away from us for multiple nights. Please pray for their hearts as it is hard on all of us to be separated.
-Our parents, their teachers, and multiple friends at church who are all helping us divide and conquer this week through field trips, choir rehearsals, Awanas, 2 baseball games, and just everyday life with four kids. Please pray for them to have strength and energy this week.
-Overall that we wouldn't grow weary or discouraged.
Ready, break!
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